This may be true, but to me this is more than just about releasing pounds. This is about me releasing samskaras or old habits and allowing myself to evolve into the person I want to be. During the past year, I have released so much anger, frustration and hatred towards myself and other aspects in life that I feel I am ready to embark on a major change. I have grown so much more confident and have fallen in love with life and the simple pleasures. As a result, I want to continue to feel good in mind, soul and body.
I'm going to be honest here, but I promise this will be a positive blog. My cousin who was also one of my best friends passed away several years ago and when that happened, I didn't feel myself anymore. I have always been an optimistic, happy go lucky and positive person who loved humor. However, when this happened, the light in me dimmed. I couldn't understand how something so sad, so tragic could happen and I pushed all of my feelings aside. As a result, I pushed myself aside too.
But those feelings eventually come up and when another person in my life passed away tragically, I couldn't handle it anymore. Everything in my life seemed stressful and like a big black depressing boot was pressing me down. I just wanted to feel myself again.
Without getting into too much detail, I did some soul searching. I am a proactive person and do not like to sink into my sadness. I started going to therapy, joining a positive thinking group, doing yoga regularly and surrounding myself with great friends and people. I went to a nutrition and doctor and got B12 shots, which gave me energy and sucked it up and went on medication to help with my OCD and negative patterns and thoughts. I tried to see this as part of the journey and not weakness. As I took care of myself, I began to see the beauty in the world again. With more energy and a renewed sense of life,my humor returned. I began to partake in old hobbies that I loved and reconnected with old friends. I began to be a better person. I began to love myself and life. And most importantly, I began to let things go. It felt like that boot was lifting away and I could breathe.
I started to love my job and the ups and downs in life. Every morning instead of wanting to hide under my covers and waste away, I was grateful for everything, the simplest joys. I found and embraced new passions and found my heart opening up to people I couldn't open it up to before.
This new year, I want to continue to become who I am meant to be and hopefully inspire others…I figure if I write this blog, I will be vigilant with doing the right things for myself and my body. This new year, I am hoping to lose weight…not just weight from my PCOS or eating or whatever, but from all the past issues that no longer serve me. I am ready to let go of the baggage.
I am ready.
Thank you for joining my journey with me.
Namaste.
Jenn- I dance for you…<3
