One week and feelin good!

  So I have been doing the nutritional cleanse program for a week now.  Throughout this time I have learned many things about myself and am realizing how strong of a person I am.  I've also learned to be more in tune with my body and what it needs as well as what it don't needs.  Many things we perceive that we want are just that, "perceptions" and not reality.
       The first few days on the program I felt terrible. I had an uber migraine and didn't have enough energy to go to work.  I kept telling myself to stick it out even though I truly felt terrible, there would be a bright side.
       After the first three days, I am starting to feel terrific.  I haven't had one stomach issue (I have IBS) all week and am early to work because I'm not held up by my stomach in the morning.  In addition, I've received compliments on my skin and my tastebuds are starting to change.  I am beginning to crave healthy foods and becoming disgusted by sugar and caffeine. It is almost like my body had an addiction to these substances, but truly doesn't require them.  In addition, I am realizing this is putting me more on my road to my passions.  During some free time, I was looking up healthy recipes and seeing what new creations I can make.  Instead of feeling like a chore, I felt excited.  At first, the nutritional shakes felt like medicine to me, but now I am looking forward to them and putting good nutrition into my body.
        I am currently on the "deep cleanse" part of  the program.  This is where you drink a liquid at certain points in the day, lots of water and small supplied snacks but no major meals and food.  I didn't think I could get through it but it is almost 3 pm (my hungriest part of the day) and I am not feeling hungry but actually refreshed and rejuvenated.  I am so proud of myself that I've been able to do this since it seemed impossible on paper.  The fact is you don't need certain things and if you are determined it will happen.  I can translate this to other parts of my life.  Sometimes I don't feel confident or think my goals won't happen.  But the fact is even if you don't believe you can do it, you can.  Many of our fears are not reality and only beliefs. Also, goals take time.  I never though I would be doing something like this 30 day cleanse or anything else in my previous posts.  I never thought I could overcome my anxiety or learn to love my hardships and challenges.  But I did and you can too.  At first I had this goal to lose a ton of weight. I think I will lose that weight eventually, but I'm learning to enjoy the road.
     I had a conversation with a colleague today  about "boredom." I was saying that I am never bored and I asked if that was weird.  He said, "I guess" but I don't think we are supposed to be bored in life. I think there are many things to explore and beauty in each and every moment.  I used to hate winter but I am learning to love the feel of the cold air and learning that there is beauty in that too.  I am learning that there is also beauty and greatness in food even the tiniest morsel and even things that don't taste good, you can learn to love and see the beauty in that too.    I am grateful for so much and am now learning how to treat my body well too.

The Journey Begins!

    After the holidays, I will be embarking on a new journey to lose some weight.  What's so interesting about that, you ask? Everyone tries the post holiday weight loss challenge, right?  

     This may be true, but to me this is more than just about releasing pounds.  This is about me releasing samskaras or old habits and allowing myself to evolve into the person I want to be.  During the past year, I have released so much anger, frustration and hatred towards myself and other aspects in life that I feel I am ready to embark on a major change.  I have grown so much more confident and have fallen in love with life and the simple pleasures.  As a result, I want to continue to feel good in mind, soul and body. 

     I'm going to be honest here, but I promise this will be a positive blog.  My cousin who was also one of my best friends passed away several years ago and when that happened, I didn't feel myself anymore.  I have always been an optimistic, happy go lucky and positive person who loved humor.  However, when this happened, the light in me dimmed.  I couldn't understand how something so sad, so tragic could happen and I pushed all of my feelings aside.  As a result, I pushed myself aside too.  

      But those feelings eventually come up and when another person in my life passed away tragically, I couldn't handle it anymore.  Everything in my life seemed stressful and like a big black depressing boot was pressing me down.  I just wanted to feel myself again.

     Without getting into too much detail, I did some soul searching.  I am a proactive person and do not like to sink into my sadness.  I started going to therapy, joining a positive thinking group, doing yoga regularly and surrounding myself with great friends and people.  I went to a nutrition and doctor and got B12 shots, which gave me energy and sucked it up and went on medication to help with my OCD and negative patterns and thoughts.  I tried to see this as part of the journey and not weakness.  As I took care of myself, I began to see the beauty in the world again.  With more energy and a renewed sense of life,my humor returned.  I began to partake in old hobbies that I loved and reconnected with old friends.  I began to be a better person.  I began to love myself and life.  And most importantly, I began to let things go.  It felt like that boot was lifting away and I could breathe.  

     I started to love my job and the ups and downs in life.  Every morning instead of wanting to hide under my covers and waste away, I was grateful for everything, the simplest joys.  I found and embraced new passions and found my heart opening up to people I couldn't open it up to before. 

     This new year, I want to continue to become who I am meant to be and hopefully inspire others…I figure if I write this blog, I will be vigilant with doing the right things for myself and my body.  This new year, I am hoping to lose weight…not just weight from my PCOS or eating or whatever, but from all the past issues that no longer serve me.  I am ready to let go of the baggage.  

 

    I am ready.  

  Thank you for joining my journey with me.

Namaste.

Jenn- I dance for you…<3